Pride can be difficult to see in ourselves. It hides behind things. We don’t like to face it, but God calls us to look at it. To call it by name. To let Him search our hearts for pride and expose it for what it really is. 

He wants to work in us and He can’t if pride stands in the way. He wants to shape us into Christlikeness and fill us with the peace and joy of walking humbly with Him giving us abundant life. Pride hinders that.

What We See 

We can see pride in other people much more easily. We may recognize it when someone is boastful, arrogant, demanding, or unwilling to admit they are wrong. We see pride when someone constantly talks about themselves or believes they are better than others.

But pride does not always look like that. Sometimes pride is much quieter.

Pride Hides

Sometimes pride hides behind our thoughts, our assumptions, our reactions, and even the stories we tell ourselves.

We can become convinced that we know what someone meant when they never actually said it. We can assume someone’s motives. We can replay a conversation in our minds and create an entire narrative around a few words.

Pride can cause us to defend ourselves when God is trying to correct us. It can make us justify our actions instead of honestly examining them. It can make us hold onto anger and bitterness because we believe we have been wronged.

Pride can even affect the way we view our own abilities. We may be proud of our strength, intelligence, skills, accomplishments, or talents without stopping to recognize that everything we have ultimately comes from God.

Humility is different.

Humility’s View 

Humility does not mean thinking we are worthless. It means seeing ourselves truthfully. It means recognizing that God is God and we are not.

It means recognizing that our abilities are gifts.

Our strength comes from Him.

Our wisdom comes from Him.

Our opportunities come from Him.

And even when we have accomplished something through hard work, we still need to remember who gave us the ability, opportunity, breath, and strength to do it.

The battle between pride and humility is really a battle over perspective.

Whose perspective will we trust?

Our own? Or God’s? 

James 4:6-10

But he gives greater grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.” So submit to God. But resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and make your hearts pure, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and weep. Turn your laughter into mourning and your joy into despair. Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you. 

Our Pride

Pride makes us do a lot of things. Things that we don’t realize or make sense. We justify, create narratives, hear words not spoken and over inflate ourselves, taking credit for what God has done.

The Justifications We Make

One of the ways pride shows itself is through justification. We do something wrong, and instead of simply admitting it, we explain why it really wasn’t our fault.

We have a reason, an excuse, an explanation.

Maybe someone else caused us to react that way. Maybe we think they deserved what we said. Maybe we were tired. Maybe we were under pressure. Maybe they started it.

There may even be some truth in our explanation, but that doesn’t make it right or okay.

Pride can take a small amount of truth and use it to keep us from facing the truth about ourselves.

Instead of admitting we were wrong, we rationalize and make excuses, all out of pride so we don’t have to face the truth. 

Instead of saying, “I shouldn’t have responded that way,” we say, “Well, they shouldn’t have said that to me.”

Instead of asking God, “What do You want me to learn from this?” we ask, “Why doesn’t the other person see that they are wrong?”

Truth hurts. Looking hard at ourselves is hard. God requires it, but we can only do it with His grace.

Pride wants to defend itself.

Humility is willing to examine itself.

That doesn’t mean that everything someone says about us is true. It doesn’t mean we should accept false accusations or blame ourselves for someone else’s actions. It means we are willing to let God search our hearts.

David prayed:

Psalms 139:23 

Examine me, O God, and probe my thoughts. Test me, and know my concerns. 

It’s an example of how we need to approach ourselves with God. Asking Him to show us what we can’t see ourselves and being willing to accept the answer.

We need that prayer because sometimes the person who needs to change is not the person we think needs to change.

Hearing Things That Were Never Said

Pride can also affect how we hear other people. Someone says something, and we hear something completely different. Not because they actually said it, but because pride interpreted their words for us.

A simple comment can suddenly feel like criticism. 

A question can sound like an accusation. 

Silence can feel like rejection.

A person’s facial expression can become evidence of something we believe they are thinking.

But we don’t actually know. We begin filling in the blanks and think we know. We become certain in what we have convinced ourselves was actually meant.

Pride is very good at filling in blanks.

When we are already hurt or defensive, we can hear words through the filter of our own feelings. We may hear what we expect to hear rather than what was actually said.

Then we react to the meaning we created when in fact the person most likely meant something completely different.

This is one reason humility is so important. Humility allows us to pause. It allows us to ask instead of assume.

It allows us to listen instead of immediately defending ourselves.

Proverbs 18:13 

The one who gives an answer before he listens—that is his folly and his shame. 

How often do we answer before we have really heard? How often do we assume we know what someone means instead of simply asking?

How often do we just listen, truly, really listen when someone speaks?

Pride says, “I know.”

Humility says, “Help me understand.”

The Narratives We Create in Our Minds

Sometimes pride goes further. We don’t just interpret one conversation. We create an entire story.

Someone doesn’t call us. We decide they don’t care.

Someone doesn’t invite us. We decide they don’t want us around.

Someone corrects us. We decide they are trying to put us down.

Someone disagrees with us. We decide they don’t respect us.

Before long, one event has become a whole narrative. And once we believe the narrative, everything else begins to support it.

We remember every past incident that seems to prove our story. We forget the things that don’t. Our minds can build a case for something that in most cases is not even true. Pride makes it true in our minds.

Pride can make us the judge, jury, and prosecutor.

But God calls us to something different.

He calls us to truth.

Ephesians 4:25 

Therefore, having laid aside falsehood, each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor because we are members of one another.  

Truth matters. Not the truth we create. Not the truth we assume. Not the truth that makes us feel justified.

God’s truth is what truly matters. 

His Word is truth. He does not lie. It is the solid rock we stand on. Nothing waivers from it.  

Sometimes the humble thing to do is to admit you don’t know what they meant.

Sometimes we need to accept that maybe we don’t know what others meant.

Sometimes we need to ask, “Could I be looking at this through my own pride?”

That can be difficult. But it can also bring freedom.

Pride in Our Strength & Abilities

Pride doesn’t only involve conflict with other people.

It can also involve how we view ourselves. We can be proud of our strength and accomplishments. Pride in this way makes us more important than others.

Our intelligence. Our creativity. Our skills. Our accomplishments. Our ability to solve problems.

Our independence.

There’s nothing wrong with being proud about our work and accomplishments in a good way. But we must always remember and recognize the One who gave them to us. Who strengthens and sustains us. And give God credit and glory.

The problem comes when we begin taking credit for what ultimately came from Him.

We may think, “I did this.” And perhaps we did.

We worked. We practiced. We sacrificed.

We persevered.

But who gave us the ability to work? Who gave us our minds? Who gave us our talents? Who gave us the opportunity?

Who gave us life itself?

Every good thing ultimately points back to God.

James 1:17 

All generous giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or the slightest hint of change.  

Humility does not require us to deny our abilities. Instead, humility helps us recognize their source.

We can say, “God has given me this ability, and I want to use it for Him.”

That changes everything.

Our talents become opportunities for gratitude rather than reasons for boasting. Our accomplishments become opportunities to praise God rather than elevate ourselves.

How Pride Affects Us

Pride affects us in many ways, some we may not realize. It is not always obvious, it is subtle. Pride can start as something very small and grow unnoticed until the consequences show up.

Pride’s Blindness 

It keeps us from seeing the truth. One of the most dangerous things about pride is that it can make us blind.

We don’t see what everyone else sees. We don’t recognize our own part in the problem. We don’t recognize the attitude that is growing inside us. We may believe we are standing for truth when we are actually defending our pride.

Pride can convince us that we are right simply because we feel strongly about something. But strong feelings do not automatically make something true.

We need God’s Word to help us see clearly.

The Bible tells us:

Hebrews 4:12 

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword, piercing even to the point of dividing soul from spirit, and joints from marrow; it is able to judge the desires and thoughts of the heart.  

God’s Word cuts through our excuses. It exposes what is hidden. It shows us not only what we want to see, but what we need to see. Sometimes we don’t like what God shows us. It’s painful to see it, but it’s for our good.

Correction is a gift.

When God reveals pride in our hearts, He isn’t revealing it to condemn us. He is revealing it so that He can change us.

Anger and Bitterness

Pride can also allow anger to take root.

We feel wronged. We feel disrespected. We feel overlooked. We feel misunderstood.

And we hold onto it.

At first, it may seem like a small thing. But anger that isn’t surrendered to God can grow into bitterness.

We replay the situation. We rehearse what we should have said. We imagine what we would say if we had another opportunity. We keep thinking about what someone did to us.

And every time we revisit it, the wound seems to become deeper.

Pride tells us, “You have a right to be angry.”

God tells us to bring our anger to Him.

Ephesians 4:31-32

You must put away all bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and slanderous talk—indeed all malice. Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. 

This doesn’t mean that hurt doesn’t matter. It does matter.

God sees our hurt. He sees injustice. He sees what happened.

But we don’t have to carry the burden of getting even. We can place it in His hands instead.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean condoning what was done. It means refusing to allow what happened to control our hearts. To not let it control us, not let it consume our life through our thoughts.

The Devil’s Way in is Through Pride

Pride has always been dangerous. From the beginning, humanity’s temptation involved wanting something apart from God’s authority.

The enemy’s deception in the garden centered around the temptation to reach beyond what God had commanded and believe that something more could be gained by rejecting God’s way.

Pride still works in similar ways.

It whispers:

“You know better.”

“You deserve more.”

“You don’t need to listen.”

“You can handle it yourself.”

“You don’t need God.”

That is dangerous ground. To reject God is dangerous. It always leads to the wrong things.

The enemy wants us to move away from dependence on God. To believe we can be independent of Him. That could not be farther from the truth. We were made to live hand in hand with God relying on Him.

God calls us to dependence.

We were never designed to live independently of our Creator. 

We need Him. We need His wisdom. We need His strength. We need His forgiveness. We need His direction. We need His grace.

Proverbs 3:5 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. 

Pride says that we can figure it out on our own. It says we can trust ourselves.

Humility recognizes we need God. It looks to God only for sustaining power. 

Read Pride vs Humility: Part 2 here 

Please follow and like:

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.